#1 TIP: Get support

The single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people. Even if you aren’t comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal.

The Journey of Grief

No one wants this time to come but the time has come and you have lost someone that you are close to. The journey has begun of grieving and then to a healing heart. Grief is often overwhelming, painful, and frustrating. Nothing can take the pain away. It is important that we allow ourselves to grieve and mourn our loss and get all of the feelings of grief outside of ourselves so that we can begin to heal our hearts. We hope that the following information will be helpful to you in your Journey to a healing heart.

Most importantly, give yourself time to grieve through your Journey:

  • Write or journal. Journaling helps to get out thoughts and emotions that you may not be comfortable sharing. It is also a good tool to watch and see how you have progressed and you will see the changes and growth in your grief

  • Find someone to talk to. We find that often times it is helpful to find someone that has a similar loss. Another mother that has lost a child, etc., they will have experienced some of the same emotions you have. Counseling may be helpful as well.

  • Join a support group. Support groups can be helpful. You will find that your grief is normal and be able to share and hear how others handle grief.

  • Honor your loved ones by doing memorials; celebrate Birthday and death-aversarys. This is not something everyone will want to do, but if it helps you than do this, if not then don’t. Not doing this does not mean that you have forgotten your loved ones. Grieving is a personal process everyone grieves differently.

 

Allow yourself to cry when you need to. Let the tears flow as often as you need. Crying is healing and it releases the emotions that have built up inside of you. Let the emotions out, I often say that the tears rolling down my face are actually prayers rolling down my face.

 

You may have or may not have the following feelings and emotions:

  • Anxiety- Not knowing what to do or how you are going to go on.

  • Guilt, Anger – You may feel like you could have done something to prevent it, or angry that you could not prevent it. You may also feel some anger towards others and even God. You may direct your anger towards loved ones as well.

  • Denial – not believing that it has happened, even as far as just pretending or thinking they are just away.

  • Depression- crying often, feeling a sense of not being able to go on, sometimes not even wanting to go on at all, not wanting to leave the house or get out of bed.  Don’t retreat into your home and isolate yourself too much. Try and stay busy ~ when you are ready.

  • Frustration – you might get frustrated at the process of the court system, insurance companies, and just frustration of having to deal with the whole grieving process.

  • Fear- the fear of what to do next. The fear of living without your loved one.

 

Tips getting though you Journey to Healing:

  • Take one moment at a time, then one day at a time, then one week at a time. This is a lifetime process. Don’t avoid your grief, you can’t run from it. You will never get over the loss however you will learn to live with it and cope with it.

  • Journaling can be helpful. Express your feelings, write about them, or talk to your support person. Don’t try to interpret what you feel, just experience it.

  • Allow yourself some personal time to let yourself grieve.

  • Don’t make any major decisions during the first year.

  • During the first few months making lists of “things to do” helps. Your mind is often scattered and disorganized. The list will be helpful.

 

Remember grieving is different for everyone and everyone will grieve for different lengths of time. No person grieves the same. You will now have to live a “new normal” and allow yourself to heal in your own way.